Remembering Dad on Father's Day

It’s been 7 years since my dad passed away. But it seems it was just yesterday since I last saw him. He died of cancer. It was a terrible ordeal not just for him but for us, his family, too. He was 51 years old. He would have turned 52 July that year had he not passed away in February. Yeah, he was still young. It was supposedly the peak year of his life. He never even saw me and my brothers got married. He did not even see his granddaughter born. He retired from his work after 30 years because he got this Big C. Too bad! He worked his ass out just to get sick. It was so unfair….But who said life is fair anyway?

My dad was a great man. He was a great dad. Being the youngest and only girl in our family, I was tagged as Daddy’s girl. But for me, in my eyes, he cared a lot not only for me but for my brods as well. Among the 3 of us, I was very vocal to say what I wanted to say to him. And being the only girl, and youngest, too, of course he was extra cautious in everything that I do or might happen to me. Unlike my brothers, he felt that they could take care of themselves or they have nothing to lose or some kind to that effect…

One time, I had issues about myself. I can’t seem to recall what transpired then. I remember I was too depressed and when I talked to him over the phone, I was wailing over some nonsense issues, sobbing and crying my heart out. Not thoroughly comforted, I drank the whole grande of pilsen beer. My brothers were actually arguing the following day of who drank the whole thing, and neither of them admitted that they had it. And neither of them believed that I did it, too, hehe. Anyway, when my dad traveled back home, he gave to me his acoustic guitar to keep me company. He told me to take good care of it and just play it when I feel lonely. Until now, the guitar’s with me and even the strings were not replaced yet. I do use it not only when I feel down but even when I’m in good mood.

There were so many wonderful things to say about him. But meantime, I’ll just say a little. It’s father’s day and I want to give extra thought of him on this very special day. And I would like to share to you the one of the poems I made for him when he died titled "How Long?" I'll just publish the rest soon...

Wakwak Society

I already wrote about my friends in my previous blog. Now, I made a collage just for them. It is thru these pictures that I’m reminded about their friendship and not to forget the fun times we had together, too. I also added some funny videos for you to view...

Girls just wanna have fun

Naay nasalaag ani na pic ---------------> with yanni

Pinning Ceremony

Graduation Day

Oathtaking

Thanksgiving

Party all night....Sleep all day...The Lost Girls, hehehe...

And the fun continues....(mga babaeng nawawala sa sarili)

Las Masculadas

Left view, right view, front view... The poolside nurses

Yanni year 2004---

On Dreams And Ambitions

Sitting on a swivel chair
Staring blankly in an open air
Feeling down, without a sound
I see myself, much below the ground.

With poignant feeling
Yet with no mood swings,
Doesn’t really know,
On what to do.
Wishing for glitters,
But came only blisters
Of yesterdays sorrow
And today’s despair.

What would tomorrow be?
If I can’t maneuver the wheel?
Of aiming for the better
Without much trouble.

Should I turn out to be?
Like anybody else?
Or will I only remain
Trapped within my shelf?

Will I always conceal?
And remain running
On the same wheel?
Or shall I now reveal
Of what’s beyond the mind
On the face without a trace?

I stand, I walk
I look, I see
Opened my mouth
But without a word
Talk on the mind
But without a sound.

Perhaps I’ll remain
But it’s not what I aim.
One of these days
I wish to conquer
All my ambitions
I wish to climb.

I will not stop
I shall be on top.
My lips now may be shut,
But my mind’s playing
Now to start.

One day soon
I shall conquer,
One day soon
I shall capture,
I shall soar,
I shall succeed.
And with God’s help
I’ll find my way.

031701

Only You

I never thought I will come to know you,
I never thought we would meet,
Never expect our path will cross,
Nor even think someday I'll end up with you.

Time, I cannot say it is
That love I would feel such as this...
Happiness, I can say when I found you
For great is the love, to me that you show.

Now that we're in each other's arms
I never wish to let you go
Coz everything I dream is found in you,
And hoping what you feel is the same as I do.

You never really knew how much I love you,
It doesn't matter as long as my heart knows it's true.
You never once hear me say I want you
But you must know that each day, with me, I need you.

You told me forever you'll stay true,
And I would say I'll be loyal, too.
And as long as we remain together
I will love only you forever.

031895

For My Friend

I thought my own shadow is the only one I’ve got,
I thought life is alright if living on my own,
I thought my own self is just what I need,
Not when heaven sent me what I need the most,
A friend that is you.

You really are a friend I’ll cherish all year thru,
For you’ve painted my life to red from blue.
A friend that is rare to find and as priceless as a jewel,
A friend that is wonderful and worth dying for.

None can dare take your friendship away from me,
Not even death can stop me in continuing loving you.
No one can ever break the bond that we built,
Unless it’s God’s will to take you away from me.

Now as I end this poem, I want you to know,
I’m proud to say that you’re a friend of mine.
And never will I try to expect anything from you,
For it’s enough for me to say I found a friend in you.

Oct94

YOU OR HIM?

YOU - - -

Never before I’ve met such as you
Never had the feeling I felt before
Never thought I would finally notice you,
And fell in love with you.

Never had I dream of you for me
Never did I wish to see you more each day
Never did I try to make me like you
But it turned out the other way.

HIM - - -

Right by my sight he came
Heart beats so fast whenever I see him.
Eyes couldn’t look straightly in his,
Think love is on the air.

Whenever he’s near me I’m not just the same
Whenever he stared at me I felt like I could melt
Whenever he calls my name I seemed to hear the sweetest voice,
I guess I’m in love with him, too.

Why both of you came at the same time?
Why did you make me feel confuse?
Don’t you know you put me in chaos?
For both of you are so special to me.

I feel happy when You’re around,
I feel sad when I couldn’t see Him.
Security do I feel when You’re beside me,
Loneliness, I feel when He’s not with me.

Maybe I’ll just have to wait,
For my feelings to remain
For time to tell who the right person is for me,
Will it be YOU?...

or HIM?

Oct 94

To Someone

Sharing to you my unpublished poems I wrote years ago. Take note of the dates. It dawned unto me that I was a hopeless-romantic kind of person during my late teens or early twenties. I wrote several poems but I’ll just publish a few here. It was an old hobby of mine. Sometimes, I woke up in the middle of the night and scribble something on my notes. Or sometimes, I love writing anything under the sun if I was in one of my moods.

TO SOMEONE

Please understand why it had to be that way,
Why I cannot give the thing you asked from me,
Why I cannot accept the thing you offered to me.
You’re only a friend, you must know,
No other thing I can show,
And the love you seek for me I cannot give,
And knowing all these, I hope you’ll continue to live.

You can’t blame me for this,
For I never hope that someday you and me,
Together, forever we will be.

I hope you can find someone new,
Who will love you and love in return.
Someone who really cares, and
Someone who is right enough for you.

What’s my decision for you is clear
And nothing can change that, I hope you hear.
Wishing only the best in you,
And I will pray in whatever you do.

12-03-93

Birds NOT On The Same Feather, Still Flocks Together

Meet the Wakwak Society

These are my barkadas in my nursing years at Lourdes College. All of us are second-coursers. But sometimes, I cannot help but wonder why we became friends for we have different and extreme ‘personalities’. Well, let me describe them to you.

Reanne or yanni – astig, brutally frank and highly intellectual. Punctuality is sacred to her – ug tanan mi nakapiso sa iya kay sige man gaka late sa sabot. Since she always assumed responsibility to our group, she became our El Presidente in *Wakwak Society. She now resides in Canada yet she still keeps in touch.

Then there’s Nacky the wacky. She’s the clown of the group but inside, she’s very sentimental. She easily cries, he, he, and gets paranoid to people who are annoying. She’s currently a Clinical Instructor at Lourdes College, Nursing Department. Julie – the happy go lucky gal. School pressures don’t seem to bother her. And she can easily find a way out in every problem. In other words, sinisuerte, duh! Sometimes, I wish I’m as lucky as Julie.

Then there’s Joy or Joyax. She’s humorous and her laughter is contagious, however, she worries a lot. But it was really nice hanging out with her especially if you have no money coz she would take care of it, o divah bongga?. Next is Pamela or Mimi/Manang/Imyat, she thinks she’s a goddess, HA, HA, maygani kay angayan pod. I’ve known her since high school; we were classmates at Corpus Christi. Born with silver spoon in her mouth and tagged as maldita, you’d be amazed of her simplicity and never showing off her expensive stuffs and gems. She said she’s a chatterbox – at least honest sya no?

Nurses NOT on duty

And of course there’s Bersai. Never underestimate her height coz she could give you a kick in the ass. She has a very big heart, too. She’s smart, cool, frank and a friend who could really keep a secret. She’s now in California. Me? Perhaps…unpredictable? hehehe.. I’m sensitive, observant, and friendly to those who are nice to me but never forgiving to my nemesis, hehehe…I’m a friend you could count on. And I’m still living here at Land of Bondage, Land of the Free…

* Wakwak Society is the name of our group. It is a visayan word for witches. As we all know, witches can easily smell or detect something. Well, any news that comes up, the Wakwaks knew it right away :)

Lakbayan sa Pilipinas

I may have lived or travelled several places in the Philippines, but I've realized I need to travel more to get at least a grade of B, lolz...

So, before we try to go to foreign places, let's try to tour our own country first. You'd be amazed that there are so many things to see and beautiful scenery that can only be found ONLY IN THE PHILIPPINES!

My Lakbayan grade is C-!

How much of the Philippines have you visited? Find out at Lakbayan!

Created by Eugene Villar.

CAMIGUIN

"The Island of your imagination"

When I was young, I’ve been living from one place to another because of my dad’s work. We’ve been transferring from one place to another in Mindanao every year. These are the places I happened to live: Oroquieta City, Ozamiz City, Iligan City, Cagayan de Oro City, Gingoog City, Butuan City…And as I blossomed into a young lady, I’ve been everywhere, too. I was actually trying to tour the Philippines. I went to Davao, General Santos, to Cebu, Bohol, Manila, Subic, Tagaytay/Batangas and as far as Baguio City. When I just got married, I was lucky enough to have toured the U.S. of A…. but never was I able to visit CAMIGUIN – “the land of your imagination”, as they quoted.

When my dad was still alive, he kept on promising me that we can have a vacation with him to Camiguin …But it had never happened. I did not resent, though, but I was thinking of going there myself or with my friends. My barkada once invited me to join them to go to Camiguin but my parents refused because it was a Holy Week. It should be a time for contemplating, praying and not to have a vacation somewhere else…

And when I got married, my husband Glenn is the one promising me to take me to Camiguin but it was never utilized. Every year, Glenn & his officemates were sent to Camiguin for a yearly planning so he was always on this island for many times. And after more than 6 years of blissful marriage and having an almost 5 year old daughter, I thought I can never have a vacation that is far away from our home.

But finally, I was on this island May of 2008. It was not even actually planned. It was a spur-of-the-moment plan! So, who does not believe in ‘dreams do come true’? Coz mine did! It was a tiresome travel even though we brought our car with us. And I was not used anymore in riding a boat. My daughter was a first-timer in everything but was so excited to think of riding a boat, staying in a hotel with a swimming pool and looking at the beach. And everything paid off when we arrived. It was indeed an island of my imagination. We stayed at Paras Resort, happy to be greeted and welcomed with free drinks and borloloys. View was awesome that I took many pictures in my cellphone and digicam. And of course, the presence of my family made everything complete in this very much delayed vacation in Camiguin.