Thursday, August 3, 2017

I Don't Have A Peace of Mind...

They said that going to the doctor and have a check-up will give you a peace of mind. In my case, I don't think so... I dread going to the doctor these days and did a series of blood work, not to mention waiting for the doctor for many hours before my turn is called.

I've experienced spotting last month so I made an appointment with my OB-gyne. First day, I was made to wait for 3 hours and the following day, it took me 4.5 hours! For my lab work, I had transvaginal and upper abdominal ultrasound. I was aware of my polyps so it has to be removed (and that also caused my spotting). What I was so shocked about was the cysts in my liver. I was aware of it before but the sizes now are bigger. OMG! My kidney also has cysts but the size was still small. So, after going to my OB-gyne, I checked with my liver specialist and required me to have have a repeat ultrasound and also requested for a blood chemistry. The result was normal in my bloodwork, my ultrasound still resulted that I have enlarged liver cysts but not yet severe as mentioned in my previous ultrasound.

And tomorrow, I am scheduled for a D & C with my ob-gyne to remove my polyps and clean my cervix. What I don't get is why she wants another labtest for my creatinine and sgpt? I just did that a month ago and it was normal. Maybe she doesn't believe it? Maybe I look too sickly for her? I had an appointment with her last week wherein she told me to seek for a second opinion about my liver. She was hoping I would get a biopsy. She was even wishing I undergo a CT-scan. That made me panic to be honest. I was trying not to think about my cysts or any illness that I have but my doctor wanted to remind me that I am not well (?). Maybe she's just too concern to the point that she became an alarmist.

But God, everything that I went thru lately scares me. I don't want to be scared but can't help it. I wanted to be well that's why I went to see these doctors but now they're the ones giving me a heart attack. I can only hope and pray that nothing's bad going to happen to me. I pray that after my procedure and bloodwork tomorrow, I am cleared and go home healthy.

I wanted to be with my family, especially to my kids who are my life and my strength. I wanted to take care of them especially with my youngest child who needs special attention.

Dear Lord, heal me. You're the best doctor I know. May You give me strength and courage and peace of mind as I face these ordeals. Please hear my pleas and make me well again. I know I am a sinner and I do not deserve to be heard by You. But I believe that You always forgive and listen to those who called upon Your Name. So, I asked You to please hear my prayers.

I also ask everyone reading this blog of mine to include me in your prayers. I appreciate that very much. Be safe and be healthy, too!

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